I Once Was Lost But Now I’m Found

That picture above is when I was lost, broken, depressed, and suicidal. This girl looked for men, alchohol, and clubbing to fulfill her emptiness.  But thanks be to God. He brought me out of darkness into His marvelous light.🙌🏾

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36 NKJV

“BEING a Christian is so boring… How about I just do me through the week, and squeeze God in on Sunday.” Horrible thinking right?!?! Well at one point those were my exact thoughts. I figured as long as I went to church on Sunday morning singing, clapping, raising my hands, and worshiping God with my mouth… well I would make it into heaven. As I look back… oh ladies was I sadly mistaken! Thank God for a renewed mind!! On weekends I stayed with a alcoholic drink in my cup, in a club twerking my behind off, and dressed leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Because let’s be real ladies… we always think less is more sexy when it comes to clothes right?!? WRONG!!! 1 Corinthians 6:20 says for you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit. Ladies our bodies are so precious. We don’t have to bare it all to be considered “sexy” YOU’RE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. Don’t compromise yourself for attention. Your validation and self worth should come from God and God alone.

Romans 12:2 and do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Ladies we are in this world but that doesn’t mean we have to look like it. Respect yourself enough to cover up the goods. To be honest that’s only for your husband or one day husband to see anyway. I had to learn and I hope from my testimony you will learn. AS WOMEN WE HAVE TO FIRST RESPECT OURSELVES BEFORE WE EXPECT A MAN TO. Idk about you but when I was out with my short tight skirts and dresses I would get the whistles and the “aye ma” UGGGHH!!! Rolls eyes, flips hair, and walks off thinking “how dare he?” Wait, what?!? You too??? I’m guessing you were just as offended as I was huh!? How could we be though…. he was only barking at the treats we had on display. So again, you want a man to respect you… Then first respect yourself!! Let’s keep it cute and classy and cover up.

Oh and let me not forget how I was chasing up behind a man I know I had no business being with in the first place. You see ladies, growing up I didn’t always have a father figure around due to my parents divorcing. My father lived 16 hours away and I had to adjust to that. As women we’ll turn to men to validate who we are. We begin to give ourselves away and compromise our worth all to keep them around. WE’RE SEARCHING FOR A LOVE GOD GAVE US ALREADY! At least I was… So there I was, a lost confused little girl that only wanted to drink, party, and live my life the way I wanted to. Only to be adding to the shame and guilt I feel now.

Ok, so here I am Friday, Saturday, oh and you better believe after I got done fronting in church Sunday morning…. Sunday night I was right back in the club. Why do I say I was in church fronting? Because if I was truly living my life for Christ I wouldn’t have been clubbing, drinking, cursing, and fornicating like I was. The Bible clearly states that if we are truly of God we’ll live according to his word, keep his commandments, and look like Christ. Let’s look at the verses that helped me realize I had work to do.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Romans 13:13-14 let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

My turning point…

I recall one night sitting in the back of my friends car turning up a bottle as we headed out for a night out. Not to mention just hours before I was in church crying out to God how much I love him and surrender my all. I had everyone in church fooled but I couldn’t fool God. That night I heard God speak to me just as clear as day. “Miracle, I have so much more in store for you. How much longer will you live two lives? I’m taking the taste of alcohol from your lips” talk about a wake up call. Did I give it all up that night?!? Well no, of course not but that was my turning point. You may be thinking…. Well what’s wrong with a little drinking and going out. I’m young I just want to enjoy life. I felt the same way… but I’m sorry but if you’re trying to live a life that’s pleasing to God there’s just some things you have to walk away from. In no shape form or fashion was anything I was doing glorify God. The Bible tells us we have to abstain from all appearances of evil.

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The pic above was the day I got baptized. My Bishop dipped me under right at 12:00 a.m. on new year’s of 2015. That day I made the decision to stop playing church and become the church. I could no longer pretend. Did I magically change after that day? No! However, my heart changed. I had a willing heart to do better, to be better, and live out this life for my father in heaven. The season of letting go of this world didn’t feel good but it was necessary. I had so much filth God had to get out of my heart. I’m not going to lie to you… It’s not easy. I lost friends, that man I thought I couldn’t breathe without that really only wanted what was between my legs, I lost my entire lifestyle. I had to learn me all over over again. I made mistakes and often times fell short but this race isn’t supposed to be fast pace. IT’S A MARATHON THAT I REFUSED TO QUIT RUNNING. I don’t regret my journey here, I embrace it. I’m able to love on women and tell you ladies my struggles in hopes to encourage you to make your journey back to God. The devil tried to keep my mouth shut out of embarrassment because he knew my testimony would be a blessing to someone reading this right now. Jesus bled and he died for us so that we may be set free. The devil wants to keep you stuck in your sin out of guilt and lies he feeds you that God doesn’t love you. I urge you today to make your first step into your journey back to God. Connect your words with your heart and truly surrender to him. I’m a living witness that he’ll breathe a new life in you that you never knew existed.

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This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become new person. The old is gone; behold a new life has begun!

Matthew16:25 whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I love you and so does God!!! May my testimony encourage you to find your way into the arms of The Father💜

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